This is the one time that I hate how good of a writer you are because the way you sound makes me understand the depth of how much I just hurt you...and I hate knowing that I hurt such a close friend...but I want you to listen to me and try to understand where I am comming from. There are alot of reasons that things are happening the way they are and I hate that I waited until I got back to mention them...but it was just unbearable to hold it back. I hope I didnt just ruin our friendship...

**EDIT** I really like your background**

Kaitlyn, you of all people i hope can understand me. I dont care if you love me back the way i love you, i wont show how i feel if i have too, you did hurt me...alot...but in a way, i saw it coming, the thing that hurt the most was having to find out not from you, but from your posts, I guess i thought too much of it, in any case anyone and everyone who gets close to me will see i express myself best in my writing...as for your reasons for your choice, its up to you wether you want to explain or not, ill no matter what be JP the person who will remain by your side through thick and thin, you did hurt me, but its not un healable...I dont care what anyone might think about me, but i still love you. You could tear me a million times more and id still be there for you...I know your probably thinking words are just words...nothing more, anyone can say them, it dosent make it true...but i mean it with all my heart...When i said i was gonna be there for you forever I meant it...

and yeah my xanga needed a new look, had a bit of work on it and came with this design scheme

I dont want to tear you millions of times over and over....Thats not the type of person I am. I want you to be my friend...and still care about me....just not like you do now. I know you cant help but feel the way you feel...but you wont help yourself if you dont let go just a little bit. I think you are an awsome friend...but I just dont feel the way you do...and you have to keep in mind that the reality is...you are in Canada...I am in Illinois. I think it is mostly my fault because I let you get attached..and didnt say anything until now...so in a way I am the biggest bitch in the world for leading you on...I just didnt want to hurt a friend. I hope you and me can still be friends like we used to be...I know you wont fully grasp or agree with this...but trust me..there are way better people than me...I am not as great as you think I am...seriously...you are just letting go of all of the bad things about me so you can keep telling yourself that the good things about me are all that matters. Someone will treat you right ...you just have to give it time.

I'll give you a call soon....we can talk about it k?

*Katie*

***The poem you put in my bag was really good***

yeah...im ready anytime you are

i feel like i just snuck in on a secret conversation... buh bye.... shhh i wasn't here carry on...

Lisa...Love ya hunny.

I tried to call yesterday twice but you didnt answer your phone...I dunno when your sleeping and when your not I guess....I dunno...I will try a few more times.